Chapter 6 - Faiara

Faiara is as dazzling as it is overwhelming. Everything shimmers and glows. Mel’s eyes and nose both itch. There’s so many flowers she can’t even tell which ones are upsetting her. Stella, at least, is happy, eagerly darting between them, smile so wide it can’t stretch any further across her freckled cheeks. Mel can’t help but briefly think that she’s glowing, too.

Slipping indoors is scarcely a respite. The fairy’s homes are carved out of magic mushrooms, and tendrils of flowering vines regularly curl over the ground and walls. It seems almost every fairy is dead-set on cultivating their own personalized magical flower garden. Mel makes sure not to trip over a root as she crosses the threshold.

“Psst!” The fairy half hisses, half giggles, like she’s sharing a secret and not calling the attention of the entirety of the party stepping into her shop. Te’ijal and Galahad have to duck under the doorway to make it inside; Ulf leans into his hunch and curls in on himself. “You there! Would you like to charm someone?”

Mel raises her eyebrows. “Charm?”

“With a love spell,” Lydia says, voice cool and steady. “Correct?”

“Yes!” The noise the fairy makes is all laughter now as she darts between the group, poking and prodding at arms. “Who will it be? Surely someone here has an object of affection they’d like to dazzle?”

Galahad speaks before Mel gets the chance to. “Love spell?” He scoffs. “If such a thing even existed, it sounds more like a curse of coercion.”

“Foolish human! Did I not just ask for permission?”

“From the admiring party,” Mel says wryly.

The fairy huffs. “Well, it’s their feelings I’m putting on display. My charms simply let the other know what it will feel like to be in love with them, after all. A sneak peak of what is to come!”

Stella seems equal parts confused and curious. “What if you’re already in a relationship? You’d already be in love, would it not do anything?” Mel isn’t sure whether to be more startled by her sheer confidence of her question or her level of comfort with the spell.

If she wanted to say anything about either, Galahad cuts her off before she can. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” he mutters. The low, warm laughter that rumbles in Te’ijal’s throat catches Mel off guard, distinct from the giggling cackle she’s come to expect. She lays a hand gently on her husband’s arm as he rolls his eyes and grumbles something.

“I can’t say I’ve ever tried,” the fairy admits, then flies over to rest on Stella’s shoulder. “But you sound awfully confident. Would you like to test it with me?”

By the time Stella turns her head to ask Mel, her own mouth has turned to cotton. “Well?” she says, all magic, warm smile. But Mel’s persistent, allergic itch has shifted to something scratchy and raw, and she scarcely knows how to push it down or force it out. She feels uncomfortably on display, head reeling from the implications.

“I think Galahad’s right,” she says. “I can’t imagine this has any veracity. It’s not worth our time.” She doesn’t care to worry about her tone, about Stella’s shifting features, face falling, just turns on her heels and exits the house.

The concept is so incredibly invasive it baffles her how Stella could beam and laugh at it. What right does a fairy have to peer into your soul and reflect it outward? Why would any of them want to encourage – to enable – playing magic show with other people’s feelings like that?

And yet the further she walks away, the more her step falters and a new, guiltier discomfort wells up in her chest. She has every reason to be annoyed, but there was no need for her to push Stella aside like that, to scoff at her feelings or her excitement. Surely she could have said something gently, or laughed awkwardly to show her disinterest. Stella knows her, she would have picked up. She would have played along. Mel could have waited, and talked to her about it later.

As uncomfortable as the concept makes her on principle, she can't ignore that Stella hasn't yet told Mel she loved her, but she may as well have in that moment. And in the same breath, she seemed to say she knew Mel loved her, too. Mel's never told those words to anyone, in any context, and the idea of starting now is... difficult. But she feels like she should, eventually, somehow, because Stella deserves it and it's true for her in what feels like a thousand different ways. But Mel wants to know what words are actually going to come out of her mouth. She wants to pick them herself, to say them fondly, not to have them magicked in her eyes or whatever this spell would do. She wants to find it in herself to do it, and to do it right, because Stella deserves that from her, even if right means awkward and stiff and uncomfortable along the way to genuine.

And now, she realizes, she may have instead conveyed the exact opposite.

She has half a mind to tug at her hair or drag her hands down her face. Instead she sighs and turns back around to wander her way back to the house. She ducks her head back in to find the rest of her party missing, and the fairy scowling at her.

"Boo! It's you again! Go away, you've already scared off my potential customers!"

Mel obliges, somewhat gladly, and she takes to stumbling through Faiara in search of her friends instead. Upon running into Ulf at the general store, she reasons they may have split up.

"We all figured it was better not to wait around," he explains, sifting through potions and pouches of herbs. "We're all meeting back up at the inn in half an hour. It seemed like a safe place for you to check eventually." He waves a bag in front of her. "Did you know some of these are intoxicating to humans, despite having no similar effects on fairies?"

"I did not," Mel responds, mostly to be polite before stepping back to the topic she cares about. "Do you happen to know where Stella went? And if she seemed upset?"

"Upset would be a strong word," Ulf says, "but she actually came here with me to get something to eat. I'm not quite sure where she took it."

Mel finds Stella sitting on a toadstool a little bit away from the store, eating the final wedges of a star peach. She waves gently at Mel when she notices her, and stands up as she approaches. "You found me."

"Well, it was my fault for losing track of you in the first place."

Stella looks like she wants to protest, but can't quite find the words to. She opens her mouth and settles on frowning instead. "Mel," she says finally, "it's okay."

"It's not! Look, it's one thing for me to be frustrated, but I didn't need to storm off."

"Okay, yes, that's true," Stella says, sighing, like she was avoiding admitting it. "And I do sort of wish you didn't? But it's fine, Mel. I messed up, too. I shouldn't have put you on the spot like that. I was making a lot of assumptions - about your feelings, about the fairy's truthfulness, about how comfortable you were with either - and that wasn't right of me."

Mel can scarcely bring herself to meet her girlfriend’s eyes. Her voice is so sincere and soothing, and she feels awful for making her feel guilty, even if she’s thankful she understands the issue. "It’s fine,” she says, facing forward, and reaching a hand to hers as if to prove it. “Really. I’m sorry, too. I didn’t need to say it like that. There were better ways to have turned you down. And I don't want to turn you down, just this spell! I don't want you to think this is about my feelings, Stella, because it's... more complicated than that. I just don’t want a spell to tell you I love you! I want to be the one to tell…” she realizes, as she’s saying it, what she’s doing, and that this is not exactly what she intended when she started speaking, but it feels real in her mouth and right in her chest and she decides that she wants to, “you that I... love you. Because I do."

Stella is just looking at her, smile soft and sheepish, like she’s half conflicted. “I hope I didn’t make you feel like you needed to say that-”

“No, not at all.” She shakes her head and squeezes her hand. “I wanted to.” She smiles. "It was important to me that you hear it from me."

Stella drops her hand, and immediately brings her arm to her back, pulling her in close for a hug. She rests her head on top of Mel’s, nose pressed to her bow. “I love you too, Mel.”

By now she knew it, the way Stella knew it was true of her. But it's nice to hear it from her all the same.

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