Chapter 7 - Naylith

It’d been a rough day.

The Orb of Light couldn’t be further than a day or two away now, depending how deep the cavern they found went, but finding that cavern came a flurry of revelations heavy enough to dull the triumph. Afterwards, despite the magic thriving around them, despite finally finding her home, Stella’s smile never quite regained its luster through the day. Mel worried they could sense a nightmare coming on and offered to share a bed at the inn.

She accepted, but… Mel wakes in the middle of the night alone, and realizes it’s shaping up to be a rough night, too.

It doesn’t take long for them to find Stella. She’s sitting on the grass just outside the inn, hugging her legs tight to her chest and resting her head against her knees. Strands of purple hair half-obscure her face, bouncing slightly with the force of her sniffling.

Mel sits down beside their girlfriend and considers putting an arm on her back, but worry she’s too wrapped up in her feelings right now to notice them, and they don’t want to startle her.

“I woke up,” they say, mostly just to say they’re there, “and you weren’t there, so I hope you don’t mind I went looking for you.”

“I don’t,” Stella says, but she doesn’t say anything else, either.

It’s a pretty night. The sky technically stretches on endlessly everywhere, but in Naylith it’s like Mel can feel it. They’re sure the distance this land hovers off the ground is negligible in the cosmic scheme of things, but they still feel closer to the stars up here. No wonder it was home to one of the most advanced observatories in Aia. It would be pleasant to be sitting here under different circumstances, not least because Stella is warm and comfortable just to sit next to; their sides touch here and there without trying to. Mel vaguely hopes their presence can be something of the same.

“Do you want to talk about it?” It could be a lot of things – Gyendal, her wings, the Orb of Light finally in their reach – and Mel isn’t really sure which they’re specifically offering. Any of them. All of them, if she needs it.

Stella lifts her head up and wipes at her eyes. “I’m finally home, and there’s nothing here for me.”

Mel just looks at her for a moment, not sure what to say, not sure if she’s finished or not. She looks like she’s hovering on the edge of something, like she isn’t certain herself yet, either. When she stays quiet, they reach their hand to her shoulder furthest from them, curling it around and tugging her gently closer to them. “Stella, this is still your home, wings or not.”

“It’s not even just about my wings!” she says, and Mel is startled by the volume, dropping their hand. She hugs her legs tighter and her voice drops back to shaking and uncertain. “I just… I thought I’d have family, friends. People who missed me. People who could tell me more about me. And instead, I get here and people don’t even bat an eye or look at me like they think they know me but not enough to care who I am, and…” The tears overtake her again, and she nestles her head back on her knees, face turned down. “And I don’t know if this always hurt so badly, or if I just don’t remember how to be okay with it, and I don’t know if I’m ever going to get that feeling back.”

For a moment Mel has to leave it hanging in the air as they struggle for words. They’re almost surprised by how much it resonates with them. They think back to sitting on the front steps of the Venwood inn in the evening, having what feels like this same conversation, back when Stella was full of optimism and Mel was full of uncertainty. Mel’s still a little uncertain, looking forward. They have no idea where they’re going after this. But the sense of who they want to go with has been solidifying itself for the past few weeks, and now she sits beside them, outlined and steady.

“It’s okay if you never do,” Mel finally offers, gently. “Just because this was your home originally, doesn’t mean it has to be now, or next. That can change. You can go wherever you’re happiest.” They pause, and decide to go for honesty. “Look. I can’t really relate to being upset about this. I never had a sense of family to lose. For me, it’s like… uncomfortable, sometimes, and painful even less often, but it’s kind of just how things are. It’s okay, at the end of the day. And you’ll be okay, too, even without it.”

Stella sighs, half a shudder as she tries to stop crying. She slowly unfolds herself, stretching her legs out in front of her. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be complaining about this as if it’s some horrible thing when…”

“I’m used to it. You’re not. It’s fine.”

She nods, and smiles, albeit a little weakly. “Thank you,” she says. "If there's anything on your mind that you'd like to talk about..."

Mel shrugs, even as they roll straight into speaking. "Not sure what there is to say, honestly. I have to face the evil vampire that wants to use me to take over the world head-on pretty soon, and I'm worried I'm not ready for it, but also I don't really get to make that call. I don't even know what will happen next, because this kind of turned my life upside down, and that's surprisingly difficult to think about, because I should be looking forward to this being over, so I'm not really thinking about it." They say it as casually as they can, because as nice as it feels to get out there, to watch Stella as she listens, they're not really certain how deeply they want to get into it.

Stella looks almost sheepish for a moment. “I know I invited you to stay here with me, before I knew it was here, and that’s obviously not going to happen anymore, and you didn’t know what to say then, but I think I’m… happiest with you,” she stumbles over slowly. There's a surprising weight to the confession. “Maybe we can…”

“Not know where we’re going together?”

Stella drops herself fully to the ground, and then shifts herself over just slightly so the back of her head rests in Mel’s crossed legs. She looks up at them. “Exactly that.”

“I would love that. We’re almost there, for the record, so you can start brainstorming places.”

“We are, aren’t we? Maybe Thais to begin with. We do have a house there.” Some strength begins to creep into her voice. It’s a heartening concept for certain, to be done with this mess. To be able to really rest, not borrow time from progress they should be making against Gyendal by staying in a city for an extra day. Mel’s life has been swept up and turned upside down and sideways so many times they’re not even sure how to plan for the other side, but with Stella and a starting place, they begin to gain some confidence. They hope that putting Gyendal behind her will help her do the same.

Mel runs a hand along the edge of Stella’s hair, trailing from the top of her head until they reach her shoulder, trying not to disturb her curls along the way. “It’s as good a place to start as any.” For a moment after they just stay there together.  Stella’s breathing deepens and slows, and Mel is relieved to watch her calm down some, to watch the gentle rise and fall of her stomach as she breathes in and out. She’s looking up, but past them, at the sky, and they follow her direction to stare at the stars.

“It is really pretty up here,” Stella says, somewhat cautiously. “I’m glad I got to see it, even if I can’t stay. Maybe one day it won’t have so much baggage associated with it.”

“Maybe. We could come back and visit, then.”

Stella hums in what Mel interprets as agreement. They let the soft sound settle before they change the subject. “Do you think we could find that ridiculous star Edward bought?”

“It’s not ridiculous!” Stella protests, but the energy feels exaggerated. Mel’s just relieved she’s feeling up for it.

“Who buys a star to dedicate to himself?” they counter. “Scratch that, who buys a star? Who sells a star to begin with? Princes and their ilk shouldn’t get to own the sky.”

“It’s not like they’re stopping anyone else from enjoying it.”

“Technically not, but who let them pick, right? A piece of paper saying you own a star doesn’t mean anything, it’s just an excuse to flaunt your wealth.”

“Actually,” Stella says, “if you were paying attention, you’d know it’s to support the observatory.”

Mel rolls their eyes. “Okay, that’s fair, I guess, but I still think it’s ridiculous.”

“You’re entitled to.”

A grin slowly crosses Mel’s face and they turn their face down to look at Stella. “Actually, I’ve got an idea.”

“Oh?” Stella meets their gaze, quirking an eyebrow up.

“I’m going to steal Edward’s star.”

“You’re going to… steal it?”

“Sure thing!” Mel looks up again, finding the one they think is it based off the placement of the nearby sparkling points in the sky, and points their finger to it. “That’s your star now. I’ve decided. And you don't need to worry about preservation methods or anything, because it will always be there in the sky. Well, not right there, but, generally speaking.”

Stella laughs. It’s soft, but genuine, and Mel smiles to be responsible for it. “That’s the sweetest and rudest thing you’ve ever done, simultaneously, somehow.”

“I'm a spy of many talents, after all. You’re welcome, by the way.”

She lightly lifts a hand to punch jokingly at their arm. “Thank you, Mel.” She waits, then adds, "for everything."

It shouldn't catch them off guard, but they're still a little surprised by it, if not perhaps unduly flattered. "Oh, it's no trouble. I just want to be there for you, you know?"

"I do," she says, "and it means a lot. I want the same for you."

Her hand hangs a little off to the side, in the grass. It's the perfect location for Mel to snatch in their own and twine their fingers. She squeezes back and closes her eyes. "I know," they say.

It's not over, yet. A small, quiet part of Mel worries it will never really be over - Gyendal's defeat won't suddenly destroy the Darkthrop prophecy, after all. But tonight, and tomorrow, and onward, they have the strength to imagine it will be, one day, some day soon even, and with it they find the ability to imagine a future past it. They crush that concern with reminders that their fate, their decisions, are in their hands, and with that power, they'll put Darkthrop behind them and keep Stella beside them. It feels possible, not even out of their reach, just a couple steps too far away tonight.

Tomorrow Mel will put their foot forward and take another step closer to getting there. But for now, with Stella's head in their lap and her hand in theirs, they're content to look to the sky and to the future.

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